I recently met up with my husband for lunch and as we parted ways, we exchanged a quick goodbye peck. That’s when I realised that I definitely show more affection to my 17-month old than to my husband. Not consciously I might add, but it’s seems to be a gradual change that has gone unnoticed or I’ve refused to acknowledge until now.
How Did This Happen?
Don’t worry, I won’t make you cringe with intimate details of our relationship but suffice to say that becoming a parent has changed both of us in more ways than I ever imagined. Sleep deprivation, exhaustion, co-sleeping, to name but a few, are huge romance killers. We settled into a routine of doing everything possible to keep the little bundle alive and happy but this meant that we neglected our ‘together’ emotional needs. We still did some of the pre-baby couple things like ‘date nights’ but it’s not quite the same especially when I’m falling asleep halfway through watching a show! I do not condone infidelity in any way but I can see how a little attention from someone else can escalate into something else. I, well we, needed to make some changes.
We had a candid conversation! Just talking about it made a huge difference. We’d completely adapted other areas of our lives to accommodate the new arrival but not so much our marriage. Let’s face it, living up to the pre-baby expectations was always going to be difficult, especially with number 2 on the way. So we (I haha) made a list which contained the usual couply things and making God the centre of our marriage.
Marriage, and probably most relationships require work from time to time and sacrifice so we are making an effort to be less like passing ships. Nothing too stringent as that would just lead to disappointment. I may divulge said list in future, when my extreme over-sharing mood kicks in, but if you’re really, really, interested then ask and you may receive 😉
P.S I saw this on the way back from our enlightening lunch and it cheered me up a bit so thought I’d share.
P.P.S Have you heard of Love Languages? If not, then I would really recommend it. We did it on our marriage course and we learnt so much about ourselves and how best we interact with others. We just did it again to remind ourselves what gives us fulfilment in relationships!
Update: I wasn’t completely sure about the title of this post. I would like to clarify that I do love them in different ways but the post was about neglecting to show this!